Lewd and naughty Linux commands


CW: This page contains lewd Linux commands.

For a long time now, a T-shirt with the inscription unzip | strip | touch | finger | grep | mount | fsck | unmount | sleep has been circling around the Internet. All of them are Linux commands - even if some are used rather rarely. However, they don’t make any substantive sense in that order. Since I recently came across some threads, I’d like to make a small list of instructions which are lewd, but really work.

Manuel pages offer a lot of potential

man unzip

The real meaning is that one opens the manuel page from the program unzip. The figurative meaning is quite obvious and means to undress a man. A reversal of the command also works:

unzip man

This command would extract a ZIP file named man, man.zip or man.ZIP.

man cat

Also with this command one opens a Manuel page, but this time from the program cat, which is used for the output and merging of data streams. figurative meaning probably fits the word “catboy” best.

man touch

In this example, the beautiful Manuel pages appear again, but this time from the program touch, which can be used to create empty files. The figurative meaning is corresponding to the physical contact with a man. A reversal of the words would also work:

touch man

This would create an empty file with the name man. The figurative meaning remains the same.

man finger

A rather provocative figurative meaning, not only to contact with a man, but to “finger” him, that is, to perform a stimulation on his buttocks. However, finger is in itself a program to interact with the old finger protocol. This is described in RFC1288 and uses TCP port 79, and was used to retrieve user information. An alternative for retrieving this information is the graphical browser Lagrange. The finger man command also exists. It retrieves information about the user man. The figurative meaning remains the same.

man man

Here again the figurative meaning is quite clear - it consists in the act between two persons of male gender. The command itself opens the Manuel page via the command man. This in turn is used to opens Manuel pages. The command man woman does not exist.

There is also a comic about this: You see a drawn five panel comic.
On the first panel you see an office with a very plain background (blue and white) and a fox with glasses sitting at a desk and looking at his computer monitor. At the implied door stands a kind of tiger asking "How's the new project coming?". Both animals are anthropomorphic (that is, in human form). The fox has a blue t-shirt on, the tiger a green one. The tiger also has a cup in his hand.
In the second panel you see the fox zoomed in as he looks up and says "hmm?".
In the third panel, you see the fox, pushing himself away from the desk in a defensive posture, saying "Oh, I was just looking at some ... man ... pages.".
In the fourth panel, the tiger is seen leaning casually against the door. The mug almost at his mouth as he says "Sure! It's always good to brush up on documentation.".
In the fifth panel you see the fox from behind. You can now see that on his monitor a tiger in swimming briefs is displayed on the beach. The tiger on the monitor is quite muscular. You can see a beach, sea and two cut palm trees in the background.
The tiger in the doorway is smiling (but not grinning). The fox in front of the computer looks a bit relieved and scared at the same time. He says "Yes, right.".

The image is from Imgur. The commands are from Reddit.


If you have any other funny comics on the subject or any other commands, feel free to email me so I can include them here.